“[Growing up] was kind of hard because some things you grow up with and need your dad for and then there are some things you need your mom for,” senior Gwen Kinney said. “When you don’t have that connection with one of your parents, it’s kind of sad when you see other people talk about their mom.”
Kinney’s mother was not around when she grew up and Kinney moved in with her dad and aunt at age five. Then, in sixth grade her dad died, so she now lives with just her aunt.
Only 45 percent of American children grow up with an intact family for their childhood (CNSNews.com). The other 55 percent either grow up in a divorce situation or with one parent.
“I knew [the divorce] was coming because they got separated, because he had [committed] domestic violence on my mom,” an anonymous student said. “My mom called the cops and they said she was a victim of domestic violence and they filed separation papers.”
Other students never grew up with their parents together and never knew what it was like to have both parents.
“It didn’t really affect me until high school,” said senior Trent Hackney, who grew up with just his mom. “I started doing things you can’t tell a woman, you can’t tell your mom. I didn’t have a brother to go to, he was always gone, so it penalized a couple of things, but other than that, I grew up knowing my mom was going to be that figure.”
Though senior Allie Ray’s parents are divorced, she still has had both in her life.
“I’ve been raised two different ways; I’ve had to find a middle ground where I can please my dad and please my mom,” Ray said. “It’s hard to be accepted by both of them and not to go 100 percent with your dad or 100 percent with your mom.”
This split between parents or separation of the family can cause relationships to be different than they would be if the family were whole.
“[Our relationship] has gotten better over the years. I think I sort of resented [my mom] at one point for not allowing me to still be with my dad, so that had a toll on the relationship, but now we’ve gotten a little closer,” said senior Kirsten Coleman, whose parents divorced when she was young.
For others, separation strengthens relationships right away.
“[The divorce] made us stronger, my brother and I in particular. We had to learn how to adjust to everything and going back and forth between houses,” senior Holly Thomas said. “I like the situation. It would be weird now if my parents were together. I’m happy with it. I think it’s harder for people that are older and are used to their parents together and then they split up.”
Some children of divorce still have contact with the other parent or still see them regularly. For some kids, though, they only have one parent around for support, advice and love.
“Not having your dad is kind of miserable because you don’t really have a role model of what a man should be, so it’s kind of hard dating-wise and it’s hard as a daughter not having your dad around to watch sports and do all the things that dads and daughters do,” Coleman said.
According to voices.yahoo.com, growing up in a single-parent home has been found to affect children negatively and cause problems, like depression and difficulty in school. But students feel their single parent has done well.
“I think [my mom] did pretty well. I think to have a complete support system you need to have two parents, but my mom has been pretty strong and I’m sure she was hurt too during the whole thing, so she’s been strong,” Coleman said.
While Hackney does not have his father around, his mother is a big part of his life.
“My mom is my queen and I’d do anything for her,” Hackney said. “I can get on her nerves and she calls me this and that, but at the end of the day I love her to death.”
(Dana Walker contributed to this story)
— Tori Nothnagel