“Even just walking down the hallway every day, you compare yourself to the other girls you see,” senior Guadalupe Catalan said. “You say, ‘Oh she has a better hairstyle, better clothes or even better eyebrows.’ It is difficult for sure.”
Some Northwood students have noticed a rise in mistrust amongst female students. Many have the “crab mentality,” which means they fight to get to the top of the barrel and climb over their peers to do so.
Catalan says the female hierarchy at Northwood once made her hesitant to pursue a possible relationship.
“I had a crush on this one person freshman year, and I did not talk to him because I thought there were girls better than me,” Catalan said. “I essentially did not think I was good enough for him because I thought other girls were better than me. I put myself low on the pedestal.”
In addition to relationships, senior Natalie Hayman says that class rank has contributed to the backbiting amongst female Northwood students.
“The top 10 percent at Northwood are mostly women, so as women we fight for that class rank,” Hayman said. “I know that my friends will sit here and beg me to tell them my class rank so they can compare themselves to me, or I try to compare myself to them.”
Social worker Saundra Gardner also sees this at Northwood and says that girls should try to focus on their own achievements.
“I always say, especially when it comes to GPAs and things like that, ‘Worry about your own success and not the person next to you,’” Gardner said. “If you are doing your best, that’s the person you should compete against.”
School counselor Ciera Dixon agrees.
“I saw it more when I was a freshman counselor because so many girls didn’t understand the transition into high school,” Dixon said. “They dealt with a lot of girl-on-girl bullying I guess you could say, or girl-on-girl jealousy. But I do think it is common whether it’s to see what college they are going to get into, clothing or boyfriends.”
Senior Kyla White says the competition is fueled by people’s insecurities.
“Everybody competes,” White said. “Everybody wants the best grades, the best clothes, best shoes, best hair; even the senior superlative had best eyebrows. There is even a competition within the school, but I think people are really fighting their insecurities. They are not content with themselves.”
Hayman believes that some women size each other up and pull one another down in an effort to feel better.
“They are comparing themselves,” Hayman said. “It’s not like they are trying to go out and be better than that one girl. No, they are trying to prove to themselves that they are good enough. Some women feel that the more women they can pull down, the higher they’re up on the ladder.”
Some female students even judge each other by the amount of opportunities they have.
“Females sometimes compete amongst each other for spots in clubs and varsity sports,” Hayman said. “That title is something they can hold onto. It makes them more competitive as they try to prove to themselves they are better than the other girls.”
Dixon also said she dealt with jealousy from other female peers in high school sports.
“I was tall,” Dixon said. “I was being recruited heavily for basketball. I was on varsity as a freshman and a sophomore. Many times girls were really mean to me. Ultimately, I just ignored it.”
As a current student athlete, senior Jazmine Atkins had a similar experience.
“I started playing varsity basketball as a freshman, and I felt like there was some jealousy from some other girls because I got a lot of playing time,” Atkins said. “I guess now as a senior, I have sort of grown up and gotten over it.”
Senior Taylor Hendriksma has heard harsh words between female students.
“I hear a lot of gossiping about other women, and a lot of girls will call other girls sluts if they are sexually active, which shouldn’t be a problem, because that is sort of the age we are at right now,” Hendriksma said. “We are females and we should just support each other, which is what we are here for.”
Hayman and White both have tactics for handling the insecurities from female backbiting.
“Personally, with the class rank thing, I don’t tell my grades, and I don’t like other people telling my grades,” Hayman said. “I don’t like people knowing my class rank or my scores, because if they do, then they will compare themselves to me.”
White says she tries to remain true to her own identity when faced with competition.
“I try not to focus on what somebody else has, because I know that I will never be anyone else,” White said. “I am my own person, and I try to stay my own person.”
– By Malia Hamilton