The Odd Couple: Dance teachers discuss their relationship

“If you’ve ever seen The Odd Couple, she is the Oscar to my Felix,” dance teacher Kristen Oakes said. “That’s kind of how we describe each other.”

When Oakes began at Northwood, fellow dance teacher Leah Wilhelm noticed differences in their personalities. Wilhelm first brought up the comparison to The Odd Couple.

“It is my understanding that Felix Unger was the one who had a routine and a schedule and an order,” Oakes said. “Things were neat and organized and everything had its place. Oscar was a little bit more laid back, go with the flow kind of thing.”

Oakes and Wilhelm have been the faces of the Northwood dance department for five and 12 years, respectively.

“I am a little bit more organized but in different aspects,” Oakes said. “Not right this moment, but I like my desk to be nice and neat and organized so that I know exactly where the stuff is. She can just throw stuff anywhere on her desk and find anything you ask her to. We just have different ways of organizing stuff.”

Before they taught alongside each other, Wilhelm was Oakes’ high school dance teacher. Their relationship has evolved from student and teacher, to mentor and mentee, to peers.

“She was sent to Northwood when she was because I was supposed to be her student,” Oakes said. “I’m just so thankful that her as a teacher turned into a mentor and one of my best friends.”

The relationship between the two teachers has developed because they can depend on each other, regardless of the circumstances.

“Wilhelm is just someone who, no matter what happens in my life, I can call her, and she can make it okay—even if she can’t fix it,” Oakes said. “She has been there for me at my lowest, and I feel like kind of vice versa.”

Their professional relationship has grown to the point where they can execute certain preparations for a concert wordlessly.

“Wilhelm and I have also figured out our system,” Oakes said. “I’ll do this while she does that. When it’s concert time, one of us will type up the program and the other will print it. One of us will get the list of senior questions and the other one will fill it out. Just like a tag team, we don’t even have to ask—we just kind of know who does what.”

Wilhelm and Oakes work so well together partly because they teach in a similar fashion, covering the same topics. This partnership has been so successful because they share a passion for what they do and the students they teach.

“Our respect for our students and caring for them and the love for dance and the art that we make, I think we share that,” Oakes said. “And plus we like to have fun while we work hard.”

Wilhelm and Oakes try to portray all aspects of the dance world while supporting and respecting their students.

“We want to show them a different side of dance,” Wilhelm said. “It isn’t just twirly fun and sparkly costumes. There’s a method to our madness.”

Although Wilhelm and Oakes share many views about the dance department and their students, they have very different personalities.

“Wilhelm is loud and outrageous, and Oakes, I feel, is not more on the conservative side, but definitely less than,” senior Ali Knowles said.

Wilhelm agrees that she and Oakes are different.

“We are very different,” Wilhelm said. “I’m very much go with the flow, easy going, not too caught up with non-important stuff. [Oakes] is very organized and cares very much about every single little detail and every single little problem. She is just not go with the flow.”

Oakes acknowledges that she and Wilhelm have different personalities, partly because they have experienced different aspects of life.

After getting married and welcoming her daughter, Magnolia, Wilhelm’s family has grown. Her husband teaches at a small private school in Durham, which her son, Lincoln, will be attending next fall. The growth and movement in her family is cause for Wilhelm planning to sell her house and move closer to her husband and son’s school. The commute from Durham to Northwood is too long for Wilhelm’s liking. This has led Wilhelm to look for other positions, but she has found none.

“I do not have a new job, at all,” Wilhelm said. “Northwood might be stuck with me for another year.”

At this point, Wilhelm is unsure of what the next school year will hold for her.

“I think she still loves teaching and loves dancing, but she’s just trying to figure out what is going to make the most sense for her family,” Oakes said.

If Wilhelm were to leave Northwood, it would have an impact on the status of her relationship with Oakes.

“It would change because we won’t be on a day to day basis,” Wilhelm said. “We won’t see each other and know everything about one another. And I think it will take on more of a not necessarily a mentor kind of role for myself, but more just teacher to teacher.”

Although their relationship would change slightly due to separation, both Wilhelm and Oakes believe they will stay close.

“I’m always going to love her and support her, because first and foremost, I want her to be happy,” Oakes said.

– By Peri Kennihan