I’m done. I never thought I would say it. After nine years, I chose to end my basketball career in November. For some, this may not seem like a big deal. Maybe it shouldn’t even be relevant at all. But for me, it was one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made.
For those who have known me for a long time, basketball has always been a large part of my identity. I started playing rec basketball when I was seven. In middle school, I joined my first AAU team. For the majority of my existence, basketball has been the first thing people associate me with. Throughout my elementary, middle and even high school years, it was the tool I used to make friends. It became the common interest that many of my friends and I shared. People have always known me as “that girl who plays basketball.” That’s not me anymore. I’ve found myself wanting to be associated with it less and less.
I used to have such a passion for the sport. I loved it and I was motivated to succeed at it. I went out in my driveway to shoot and dribble almost every day. I signed up for camps and worked so hard to better myself. The gym was one of my favorite places. People told me I was talented, that I had so much potential. Basketball was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. My goal was to play college basketball for a Division I school. I played nearly every day of the week, traveling on weekends and working on my game. However, within the past few years, that passion has been waning. Some time during my freshman year, I realized I didn’t care much anymore.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m forever grateful for the opportunities playing basketball has given me. It gave me a base socially. It gave me something to be good at, something to really put my heart into. But my heart isn’t in it anymore. I started dreading going to practices. I wouldn’t put in the work necessary to get better because I didn’t think it was important. I was dragging other players down, and I think everyone felt it. I didn’t care enough, and I felt like I was cheating myself and the people around me.
When I told people about my decision, they were shocked. I knew that basketball was what a lot of people associated me with, but I didn’t expect the amount of disbelief I was greeted with. People asked me why I even tried out in the first place if I was just going to quit later, and I wasn’t really sure how to answer.
Maybe I didn’t do it in the best way. I did go to tryouts. I did practice with the team for a week. But maybe that was what I needed to realize that basketball wasn’t a part of me anymore. I don’t regret it. Almost immediately, I felt like a tremendous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I miss my teammates, but I don’t miss playing the sport. The time for it in my life has come and gone, and I think that’s okay. Even though quitting basketball was one of the biggest decisions I’ve ever made, it was ultimately one of my best, and I’ve come to terms with it. I never thought I’d say it, but life without basketball is something I’m okay with.
-By Becca Heilman