In the fourth grade I thought a Facebook account was necessary for fitting in with my friends. In eighth grade almost every potential awkward social encounter was avoided by scrolling through dumb Tumblr memes. Freshman year, I kept up with the Kardashians on Instagram and alphabetized my Pinterest boards. Sophomore year, I genuinely worried about maintaining and losing Snapchat streaks. Senior year, I don’t have any social media.
I decided to cut ties with social media because I found myself falling down a rabbit hole most people discover in their lives: comparing myself too much to other people.
My decision certainly didn’t spell instant happiness or confidence. I forced myself to sit in uncomfortable situations instead of mindlessly scrolling through my phone and to find ways to connect with people other than through the internet. Completely cutting myself off from social media made me realize how much of my life revolved around it. It wasn’t just an attempt to salvage my self-confidence, but practice in being honest with myself about the negative influences of my life.
The unfortunate reality is that the majority of our standards for beauty, happiness, success, etc. are created and constantly reinforced by external forces. Social media is the epitome of a platform where young people can learn unhealthy standards for themselves and others. It doesn’t exist in an alternate time or place like an episode of Riverdale or a Marvel superhero movie; social media is presented as reality and we tend to consume it as such.
To avoid feeling the pressure of not looking or feeling a certain way, you don’t have to completely delete all social media accounts —that’s just what helped me. However, you do have to make the conscious decision to be more mindful when on social media. Don’t assume everyone is lying, but also don’t assume that everything you see is a realistic depiction of a person’s life. Making judgements based on someone’s social media accounts and acting on them (i.e. leaving an unnecessary negative comment or spreading your judgements about them to others) is hurtful to both parties. That person shouldn’t be confined to the box you put them in and you shouldn’t encourage yourself to feel better or worse based on your perception of their account.
Next time you open social media, think about how the content you’re consuming affects the way you think. Maybe you’ll find a social media break or breakup will be helpful for you too.